Meet my wife...Karen.
Aaron & Karen...aw. Our names rhyme. Starbucks employees love that one every time.
Ten points to Gryffindor if you can guess from the picture on the right what Karen's views on being quiet Suzie Homemaker are. Everyone says don't judge a book by its cover, but come on. Any of you out there ever met a silent wife?
My point exactly.
Today marks five years since Karen convinced me to march onto a stage, hit my mark, and say my lines. At first, I thought the applause from family and friends was for a performance well received.
It was only afterwards that I learned she had just long-conned me into marrying her.
Okay, so that whole bit before was mostly a lie. I joined her on that stage willingly. No one in the audience had shotguns, (or at least not that I was aware of). Anyhow, we both agreed to follow the rules, no straying, etc. Five years have gone by and she's still putting up with me for some reason or another.
Granted, she'd be crazy to skip out on me now, right? I mean, clearly Salted is going to take off and become the next big thing.
Plus, look what I helped her make! >>>>>>>>>>
To use Annetta Ribken's words, "Look at the cute!"
Anyhow, all my plans changed when we walked into the party and I saw the blonde cheerleader I'd been digging since freshman year. Would-be novelists, this is a great lesson. Have a plan, but leave yourself open to inspiration.
I went home to the dorms later that night and told my good buddy I had just met the girl I'd end up marrying. Sounds cliche, but it's true.
Now before any of you ladies out there swoon over this story, pump the brakes. I broke up with Karen by Valentine's Day.
Yes. Your humble narrator was one of those guys.
I had dreams, see. Big dreams. I was going to move to Chicago. Be an actor. See my name in lights and on the big screen. And, of course, Chicago couldn't wait for me to arrive. Heck, they were practically calling my landline phone to say, "Geez, Galv, when are you getting up here already?"
So, yeah. I broke up with the lovely girl you're seeing in these pictures. And it was awful. She cried. I...well it wouldn't be manly to say I...oh, alright, I cried too. I left her and everyone else I knew to chase a crazy, silly dream that I'd wanted all my life.
Fast forward three years later, many missed meals-(those stories of starving actors come from truth, peeps), and you'd find me back in Fishers, Indiana on Karen's doorstep. I'm not proud to say I begged, but that's what it took.
She was dating some other guy at the time, (of course), so naturally I told her that was dumb. No guy out there loved her like I did. To put it in terms young female readers of today will understand, I was the Edward to her Bella.
Ugh...I just threw up a little writing that. Blegh.
But come on! Hadn't I proved I was the one for Karen by breaking up with her several times before? Sheesh. "Put me through the ringer," I said in earnest. "Let me prove I'm serious this time."
So she did.
And it only took six months before I finally convinced her that I was for realzies. About a year later, I had her setting up her own engagement-(I'll save that story for another time. It's a looong one). Fortunately for yours truly, (and our daughter's), Karen said yes.
Which brings us back to the stage where we said our lines five years ago today.
In that time, we've went on a mission trip to Cambodia so I could better understand Karen's passion of aiding trafficked children. Moved across the country from Indiana to California. Lived by the beach, then traded that tiny apartment for a home near the mountains. Released an indie feature film that I wrote, acted, and produced. Changed professions. And now have a beautiful baby girl who has quickly become a toddler to her mother and I's dismay.
Oh, and in just three weeks, a book she has absolutely hounded me to finish these past five years will finally be released to all ten of you eagerly awaiting April 24th. Even writing this blog entry, I'm humbled and amazed at the life we've made together in five short years. God only knows what the next five hold in store.
Hang with us. We'll let you know come 2019.
Author. Actor. Rascal.