It’s picture day at school. Also, you’re wife has some big meeting at work lined up, so it’s all on you this morning, man!
You planned ahead well though, you Super-Dad you. Bags are packed. Outfits picked out. Baby bottles labeled. Jackets and shoes at the front door. Heck, you’ve even got breakfast ready!
. . . but Daughter 1 and Daughter 2 both want braids, which, of course, you don’t know how to do because, you know, it’s not like you’ve had at least one daughter for the last seven years(!?) and never learned how to French braid a little girl’s hair, right?
You get the girls around anyway + Daughter 3 in her baby carrier, do last checks while attempting to answer (relevant) questions from the other two, then sound the whistle for Daughters 1 and 2 to head out the door. By the time you lock the front door and turn around, you see that Daughter 2 has managed to secretly take her umbrella. (Note: it’s not raining). Daughter 2 has also placed her backpack not only on the wet cement from the previous night’s sprinkler run-off, but she managed to find the one bit of pooled water in the entire area to soak her bag in while she fiddles with opening her umbrella.
You do your best to forget all of this and just get them to the van. The garage door opens and you discover that your toothpick-skinny wife parked so close to the wall that only she or Jack Skellington could ever hope to enter/exit said van. Also, because your wife is as tall as a Hobbit, you’ll need to patiently wait as you manually back the seat up for a average-sized person to sit in the driver’s seat. But you manage all this, ensure Daughter 1-3 are buckled in, and you get the van started.
Bonus: You now get to listen to the Frozen II soundtrack for the millionth time – (btw, anyone else know of a more narcissistic line in a Disney princess song than ‘You are the one you’ve been waiting for!’ in Elsa’s ‘Show Yourself’?) SMH.
You reach the first stoplight and . . . oops! You forgot Daughter 3’s bottles for the day.
After a brief reroute, you finally reach daycare to drop off Daughters 2 and 3. You make sure Daughter 2 leaves her umbrella in the car, then attempt (and fail) to quickly dry off her backpack. But you get them inside at daycare. The moment Daughter 2 enters her classroom, she promptly drops her jacket and wet bag on the floor.
But just then . . . the skies open and heavenly music plays as your darling Daughter 1 goes to help. Your heart begins to break at the kindness of Daughter 1 as she picks up her sister’s bag and jacket. She goes to hang them on the hook where they belong, then says: “Briar! You can’t just throw your stuff on the floor and leave it there. We’re not at home!”
Annnnnd that’s when you turn around and see another parent who has overheard what just occurred and (seemingly) has their life put together.
But, hey. At least you have the whole work day and week ahead of you, right?
All that to say . . . how’s your Monday starting off? You good?
Author. Actor. Rascal.